Viscera's just another name for the organs we each have inside of us. I wrote a trilogy of poems describing three different organs and how they make me feel right now.
Heart
a small token, a coin
cold, tiny, shiny,
Not really much use.
The black tar oozes
eeks from within
to without
Forming an unformed mass.
I call it emotion.
Sticking to my soul
Stuck to my soul
Layers of thickened, blackened goop
gone hard.
My heart cannot beat
as loud as once it did
as strong
nor as easily.
Cold, worn down and squashed flat.
Flat, thin, and faint its beating
Barely a whisper
Barely a token of life.
Here's my heart before you
Lungs
These lungs of mine
once knew life.
Ease was their's and the stuff
of atmosphere
their food.
Still they live on but now,
Every breath is labour
Every moment pain
Effortful, wheezing, congested
they struggle
and I do not feel their life.
My friends, you are not.
Heavy are my ribs as
my lungs within
burn
Air was once a joy to breathe
Now the simplest reminder
of what I was
of what I'm not
and of what I wish I could be;
and I fear shall not ever be
again.
Breathing mud.
Inhaling against all odds.
Every waking moment.
once knew life.
Ease was their's and the stuff
of atmosphere
their food.
Still they live on but now,
Every breath is labour
Every moment pain
Effortful, wheezing, congested
they struggle
and I do not feel their life.
My friends, you are not.
Heavy are my ribs as
my lungs within
burn
Air was once a joy to breathe
Now the simplest reminder
of what I was
of what I'm not
and of what I wish I could be;
and I fear shall not ever be
again.
Breathing mud.
Inhaling against all odds.
Every waking moment.
Brain
Brain. Brain!
Think!
Thick as fog,
cold as fuzz,
mind wandering
or is it drifting awa ... ?
Back!
Return to me thoughts
We were talking, you and I, friends,
we were talking just now,
and I spoke.
And I forgot.
How can words fall from my mind,
like so many suicide jumpers from a
cliff, here now,
just as soon gone.
How can I explain? Oh, tortured mind --
to you , un tortured one, untainted
by confusion, forgetful, merciless
vagrant thoughts?
You speak, ask,
I can't find a single cohesive thought.
Unmasked, this horror within me
would scare even you.
Especially you.
You think me undisciplined;
lazy, incompetent;
You say I'm disorganised; unplugging;
uncaring.
But you do not live with this pain
You do not see my fear
You are not the person who no longer recognises himself.
Thoughts fly away like leaves
Words betray me
Memory, so malleable in all,
Hides
Like a child playing peek-a-boo.
Lift from me, fog,
Disperse thyself!
Grant again clarity, memory,
and the opportunity to life without fear
I just want to trust my brain once again ...
... like everyone else seems to trust their own.
Think!
Thick as fog,
cold as fuzz,
mind wandering
or is it drifting awa ... ?
Back!
Return to me thoughts
We were talking, you and I, friends,
we were talking just now,
and I spoke.
And I forgot.
How can words fall from my mind,
like so many suicide jumpers from a
cliff, here now,
just as soon gone.
How can I explain? Oh, tortured mind --
to you , un tortured one, untainted
by confusion, forgetful, merciless
vagrant thoughts?
You speak, ask,
I can't find a single cohesive thought.
Unmasked, this horror within me
would scare even you.
Especially you.
You think me undisciplined;
lazy, incompetent;
You say I'm disorganised; unplugging;
uncaring.
But you do not live with this pain
You do not see my fear
You are not the person who no longer recognises himself.
Thoughts fly away like leaves
Words betray me
Memory, so malleable in all,
Hides
Like a child playing peek-a-boo.
Lift from me, fog,
Disperse thyself!
Grant again clarity, memory,
and the opportunity to life without fear
I just want to trust my brain once again ...
... like everyone else seems to trust their own.